Thursday, April 01, 2010

Youngstown closes up shop, cedes city to Girard

In a bold and unprecedented move, Mayor Jay Williams announced today that he would cede the entire city of Youngstown to Girard effective immediately. Williams made the move because of the fiscal constraints existing in the city and the realization that many of the planned 'Youngstown 2010' initiatives will be impossible to accomplish by the end of 2010. Williams feels that Girard can best handle the issues facing Youngstown citizens.

"Girard has a proven track record of taking care of its citizens and we feel that their system would benefit Youngstown better than anything we could do," said Williams at the press conference announcing the move.

At the press conference, Girard mayor Jim Melfi ordered all signs having the word 'Youngstown' in them to be changed to 'Girard'. Jim Cossler, chief evangelist of the newly re-named Girard Business Incubator on West Federal Street in south-central Girard, was seen on a ladder making the sign changes himself.

As an indicator about how fast the changes were taking place, the Golden Dawn on Logan Avenue had been renamed Pizza Parlor II within minutes of the announcement.

There was no reaction from residents of the former city of Youngstown as most of them were shopping in Boardman at the time and unaware the change had occurred.

Editor's Note: This blog will be renamed Girard Pride as soon as time allows.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I was about to say there is hope after all but realized it is an April Fool's joke. my bad