Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Kiss a foot, go to jail!

In a very strange story, a felony indictment has been issued in the case of the library foot-kissing bandit. The offender, Joseph Colella of Poland Twp., has been charged with gross sexual imposition after apparently kissing and sucking on the feet of at least two women in the Poland library's study room.

According to the Vindy, "He told her that he was conducting a sociology project and that he had to kiss people's feet and record their reactions. The woman said she wasn't interested, but he kept insisting and she told police that she believed that he wasn't going to leave unless she agreed.

She relented and he briefly kissed the bottom of her foot, and then without warning he began sucking her toe, according to a police report. She then pulled her foot away and the man asked her reaction to which she replied she was freaked out."

Freaked out is probably a mild term. She should have used her freshly-sucked toe to kick him in the face.

He is also the suspect in a case at the same library branch from 2000, when a 17-year old was toe sucked. When he was done he asked if he could have her socks. The girl refused and the man asked if he could buy them. She refused again and he left.

Asked how the feet in question tasted at the time, Colella apparently replied, "like chicken."

1 comment:

John Ettorre said...

I loved this--made me laugh. Does that make me a terribly insensitive anti-feminist? Hope not.
So how goes D.C. in summertime, my friend? Drop me an email and bring me up to speed on your life sometime, will you? Perhaps we can share a meal when I come to D.C. in the fall.
Best regards,
John Ettorre